This is a blog about motherhood and feminism and parenting. It’s about me, being a mother and being a feminist. It’s also occasionally about other things, because it’s mine, and it can be whatever I want it to be.
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Raising Feminists #3
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Recent reads. All of these got three stars , except Wild Other ( 2) which was good in parts but too long and meandering in others. American Marriage was my favourite of them. On reflection , it seems wrong that All Among the Barley would get the same score as Nina Hill...but of Good Reads will persist on this five star rating system what I am to do ?! #amreading
I had an absolutely gorgeous morning on Saturday, swimming down the river Derwent and into Derwent Water. I was on a guided swim with @suzannaswims, and if you ever find yourself in the Lake District I couldn’t recommend it more. 💜💜
I just love a lifeguard flag on an empty beach, against a stormy sky and a cold, inviting sea. (@our.whitley.bay)
Submitted today, so posting here for posterity. A weirdly ‘meh’ feeling, and all I can think of at the moment are all the things that are wrong with it , and things I have forgotten to say. I’m sure that’s normal ( that’s normal , right ?). But anyway I wrote circa 22,000 words on being a mam and being a feminist ; on the value , or lack thereof , that we give to care provided in the home, as well as liberal feminisms failure to support that as a ‘choice.’ ( I also wrote about the problematic notion of choice of course.) ANYWAY before I reproduce the whole thing here. THAT IS IT.
This year’s holiday reads. Not a bumper year for me reading wise. I gave up on Jog On as it was too ‘statisticcy’ about the benefits of running, rather than the author’s personal story. I liked Daisy Jones, Ariel Levy and Middle England. If I had to pick a fave it would be Swan Song or Middle England I think , but none of them were ‘ oh my god that’s amazing I have to keep reading’ kind of books.
The whole world in their hands. OK , it’s the moon, but whatever.
A little bit taller. A little bit scruffier. One a little bit calmer. One a little bit stronger willed. A few more bruises. Some changes that you only notice when you stop for a minute and look back. Some things you miss, others not. The only option is to look forward to what comes next. #lastdayofschool
** Here’s a post. If righteous feminist anger is not your thing, move on.** Sometimes I think it’s like a tap, not tightly enough wound, dripping in the next room. Sometimes you notice it, sometimes you don’t, but you know it’s still dripping because no-one has turned it. Sometimes it makes you really mad, but still you wait for someone else to turn it.
But that’s a ridiculous analogy. It’s not like a dripping tap. It’s more aggressive. Louder. It takes more than one person to stop it.
Last night I was catching up on the BBC drama Luther which is now available on Netflix , but first aired on the BBC around nine years ago. I was aware of a creeping sense of rage crawling inside my skin, travelling through my veins until my heart was pounding. A creepy looking man enters the house of a mother alone with her child. He sticks his tongue out lasciviously, begins to lick her face. She urinates in terror. He threatens to kill her child along with her unless she leaves with him. He ties her up and locks her in a box.
Last week, two fourteen year old boys were found guilty of murdering Ana Kriegel. She had also been violently and sexually assaulted. One of the boys had tens of thousands of pornographic images on his phone. We entered into collective media discussions about the danger of porn, and the ease with which it can be accessed by young people today. But Luther is broadcast on the BBC at 9 o’clock at night. It’s easily accessible to anyone with a Netflix account. It’s not porn. But it uses the torture of women for entertainment purposes. And we all watch. And we love Idris Elba, our hero, who smashes doors and windows and walls when his wife tells him she doesn’t love him anymore.
The trouble is when you react in this way to a BBC drama, people think you’re being melodramatic. They roll their eyes and tell you not to overreact, it’s just a TV show. But sometimes that drippy tap sounds like a fucking waterfall, and you just want to scream to make yourself heard above it. ( ⬇️⬇️ more below )
I LOVE this, and I am also a huge fan of Amy’s mantra as well!! Totally digging your site and so glad you created this space!
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I’m so glad I happened upon your blog. Parenting is SO hard sometimes, and all the movies and happy happy commercials make it look like we’re supposed to be skipping through fields of daisies. Thanks for contributing to the world of Real Parenting blogs! I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award here: https://riddlefromthemiddle.com/2016/12/13/7-facts-and-a-lovely-compliment/.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the rest of us!
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Thanks so much for that Laura. I really appreciate it
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So happy I came across your blog. Such a great space for ‘and mothers’ because we are so much more than just moms. I came back to work (full time, outside of home) when my girl was only 6 months old. The looks I got, the stickers that were put on me – oh my, don’t even know where to begin. 6 months later we are both sound and happy. Best wishes from me to you lovely lady!
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Ah thanks Marta – glad you are both happy 😊
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Blah.
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Blah . You ok ?
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