Short notes on being a (unfulfilled) working mother.

What if you’re a working mother, but you’re not a high flying lawyer, or a Professor, Β or a Head of Content at a dynamic start up? What if you have a totally average administrative job where prospects are few but you can’t leave because you need the pay check, which is just enough to make it impossible to live without, but not enough to allow for the smallest of luxuries. What if you spend your day away from your children , but not contributing to anything worth while? What if you kill yourself getting in there everyday, but part of you is dying every hour that passes ? What if you’ve missed out on all those days , those hours, with your kids for a faceless institution that doesn’t give a crap about you ?Β What if every day , as you pack lunches, brush teeth , wave goodbye, you think ‘ I can’t do this anymore , I can’t do this anymore , I can’t do this anymore’? Β What if you keep on doing it because there’s no other answer? What if suddenly years have gone by and you’re exactly where you started from ? What if you’re unfulfilled, broke and your kids have spent years in childcare? What if it’s all wrong ? What if there is no right answer ? What if this is all there is ? Is this all there is ?

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11 comments

  1. This was me just over eleven years ago. But luckily circumstances meant that I could do what my heart was telling me and walk away from the mediocre job that was making me feel like an unfulfilled mother. It was the hardest decision I ever made but I have no regrets. It was absolutely the right thing for me to do.

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  2. I can relate. 😦

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  3. A perfectly expressed and quite moving rant – this culture we live in is majorly f*cked up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sucks big time

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this is probably most working moms. I honestly don’t have much value for the “follow your passions” BS we’re peddled. A lot of the time, for a lot of people, work is a means to an end, a matter of survival not of self-actualization. You have to focus on the fact that sometimes a job is just a way to put food on the table, a roof over your kids’ heads, and plow on. And if you do have the ability to breathe in your job, fight harder so that all moms don’t have to kill themselves in grinding jobs to take care of their children.

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    1. FTR, this has been me for most of the last 5 years. The contribution I’m making is taking care of my kids, making sure they are safe, fed, and sheltered. Let’s not underrate the value of that.

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      1. I absolutely dont underrate that – my problem is with my job not my mothering. I’m sorry that so many of us seem to be caught in this shitty situation. Thanks for engaging with the post.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree with you that the idea of ‘ find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’ lines are generally unhelpful. Anecdata suggests that the majority of people are pretty fed up in their jobs. If I was busier in my work I mightnt have so much time for the angst.

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  5. My problem is if employers specifically are prohibiting mothers from progressing to higher ranking roles within organisations- purely because they’re permanently attached to their ‘mother’ status, which unfortunately carries a negative stigma within the workforce. If this is where the lack of career fulfilment is stemming from, its completely unfair and unjustified. Mothers are generally MORE productive in a work environment, particularly if they’ve been granted flexible working arrangements, because they know they’re being compared apples-to-apples with full-time employees. Check out my blog to find out more about the motherhood penalty, and the subtle discrimination working mothers face: https://theboardroombabybias.wordpress.com/

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  6. This is me right now and has been me for the last 3 years!! This time next year I expect it to finally be different but oh god these next 12 months will be hard I imagine.

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