Questions I ponder on sleepless nights and long days: What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What’s the point? How can I make money?
‘You do You’.
No-one can be you better than you , you are your own best selling point.
Great! Sounds easy. I can do that.
Who am I though? Am I who I was 15 or 10 or 5 years ago? Does it matter if I am? Or if I’m not? Am I the same, but different?
How do I get there from here?
As a graduate of English Literature, I’ve long struggled with having, or not, a marketable skill set and a sense of direction (yes, yes I know all about the competencies of an Arts degree thank you) and have fallen into a career of convenience.
I’m not the only one. My work place alone is full to the rafters of people doing paycheck jobs whilst also being wildly creative, or academic, or politically active in their spare time. In many ways this is an ideal situation as it frees you from chasing the money in your creative life. The downside is of course that the nine to five is soul destroying, and you want to die inside a little everytime someone asks, casually, ‘So what do you do?’ as if that isn’t one of the most complex and anxiety inducing questions of all time.
I wish the question wasn’t what do you do? I wish it was, what do you love? what makes you laugh? what do you want to be? what do you like to do?
Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life
Sounds great, I love reading books and scrolling on Twitter – how much does it pay and when can I start?
But maybe we shouldn’t be trying to make money from our passions.
To have found something you love to do, to be working towards something, to be creating, to be sharing with like minded people – isn’t that the dream I should be chasing, which is as elusive as the three figure salary, and oh, so much more fulfilling.
I have gained much inspiration from this quote I read in a piece on nosidebar.com, and I think about it regularly.
It’s not the size of your dream, or the scale of your ambition that matters, rather that it is yours.
Since I started blogging and creating I have met and interacted with so many amazing women, that I would not have otherwise met. People ask me what my goal is. To be honest, I don’t have one. If all I achieve is meeting talented, funny, creative women – that is enough. If all I achieve is creating something that speaks to some of these women – that is enough.
It is more than enough.