Ode to a New Mum: Confessions of a Mother.

New mum, I want to hug you.

New mum, with your pyjamas that have become a second skin, your puffy eyes and tender belly. Your pale, tired skin – love and bewilderment seeping from every pore. You can’t sit down too long because it hurts. You can’t walk too far because it hurts. You read all the books, you listen to all the advice, whether you asked for it or not.  You wonder if you’re doing it right? New mum, you are doing it right.

confessins

I was a new mum 6 and a half years ago. I don’t recall many of the details, it exists mostly in a fog I struggle to look back through. But there are some things that stuck with me, some through mortification, others through disbelief. New mum, I’m going to tell you some things, to make you feel better,  to make you think ‘thank fuck I’m not the only one.’

In the spirit of solidarity, here are my #confessionsofamother.

  • I have used a nappy as a sanitary towel – possibly on more than one occasion.
  • I banged my baby’s head off the wall whilst maneuvering around the house in the dark – several times.
  • I fed my baby to sleep – YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS.
  • My baby pooed in the pool when we went swimming.
  • My baby fell off the bed whilst I was putting on make-up.
  • I couldn’t sit on the floor without it hurting my coccyx for months.
  • I fed my child jars and jars of babyfood, not homemade pureed vegetables.
  • The first bath I gave my baby was too cold and he screamed throughout.
  • I was severely constipated after giving birth – when I finally managed a poo days later, I texted my family to let them know.
  • I spent an inordinate amount of money on petrol driving around the suburbs of Dublin trying to get the baby to sleep.
  • My baby used my boob as a comforter – he literally squeezed my boob to fall asleep.
  • I felt no guilt putting my children in a creche.
  • I watched four hours a day of The Good Wife on maternity leave.
  • Most of my parenting decisions were motivated by laziness – breastfeeding, co-sleeping.

New mum, I have done all of these things and worse. My children are still alive. I am still alive. New mum, you are doing it right.

To ease my embarrassment I’d love if you shared your #confessionsofamother in the comments. Please don’t leave me out here in the cold.

 

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35 comments

  1. I also fed my baby food from jars.
    I used formula from day one because the pain from the c section was too much.
    I watched Friends on repeat on Maternity Leave.
    I let my daughter use my phone for five minutes (ok longer) of quiet since she was young (she now uses my phone better than I do).
    I didn’t bond with my daughter until she was 3 months old.
    It felt like my daughter had a permanent purple round bump on her forehead from the amount of knocks she got from falling over and my failing to catch her in time.
    My daughter fell down the stairs because I left the stair gate open.

    No mum is perfect, we try our best and we do our best. New mum, you’re doing great.
    Great post Beth – so positive and supportive

    #confessionsofamother

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks for joining in Geraldine! my son was proficient with an iphone by the age of 2 and a half. I tell myself he’ll be the next Steve Jobs so its OK

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a 14 – month old mum 🙂 I love your post because I can relate with some of your confessions.
    I used to cry a lot during the first month – CS section and breastfeeding.
    I left our daughter for a month because I need to work abroad (after a month of arranging her papers she is now with us)
    I tried making her pureed veggies and fruits but FAILED.
    I give her chocolates.
    I don’t know why she bumps her head whenever I am with her. 😦
    and a lot more…
    #confessionsofamother

    Like

    1. thanks for joining in – i hope your baby enjoys her chocolate – she deserves it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this, I did so many of these too. Being a mummy is the hardest job in the world and it’s all about doing whatever it takes to make each day as easy as possible to get through! #brillantblogpost

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    1. totally – lets not make it more difficult than it needs to be

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  4. There are no perfect mothers out there. We are people too not angels just because we become mothers. I can’t actually remember what I did in those days but I do know that I constantly questioned myself. The worst one was leaving the stair gate open and he fell down. He silently slipped down 6 steps and then screamed for a few minutes after which he was fine but I continued to cry for much longer. #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Yes, we have had a falling down the stairs episode also. We do our best.

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  5. Love this! I used a diaper as a sanitary napkin when I wasn’t expecting to get my period while we were traveling.

    Dropping by from a self-hosted site One Awesome Momma because I miss the community. Do check it out when you get a chance. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel like my everyday life is about everything I feel I could be doing better as a mama! We all have crazy days and some even crazier!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You couldn’t be doing anything better ! You’re doing your best

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post! Yes to the feeding to sleep. We co-sleep half the night because it’s easier. I turned my back to load the washing machine yesterday and my little girl pulled a stool onto herself.

    We’ve all been in these situations haven’t we!

    #Stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Confession #1: Fed my kids food from jars. And occasionally the floor.
    Confession #2: Accidentally let kid #1 roll off the bed and into a bin on the floor.
    Confession #3; Kid #3 played football in the backyard when he was 2. And was encouraged not to cry when the older kids ran over him.

    Kids are tougher than we think! And I love your post! : )
    #StayClassyMama

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love it ! Thanks for joining in

      Like

  9. Yes to all of the above! Great post, I think new mums really need to hear things like this. When I had my first child everyone seemed to be breezing through it whilst I struggled with breastfeeding and felt completely overwhelmed. It was SO hard and I felt so alone. The reality is EVERYONE struggles at first and we all do things to make life that tiny bit easier, at the end of the day, a happy mummy makes for a happy baby! #brilliantblogposts

    Like

  10. themediocremothersmemorandum · · Reply

    Love Love LOOOOOOOve THIS! My baby rolled off the bed too when I was fannying about with my hair. I felt horrendous. She did it again the next day. Major whoops. Absolutely fine now thank goodness but yes, these things happen. This sounds awful but I kind of think you almost forget you have them there at times if you’re so used to not having them before x

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  11. Love this, never heard of a nappy for a sanitary towel, genius 😉

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    1. Necessity is the mother of invention!

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  12. I remembered another one. A fell down the stairs at 14 months old from the very top to the absolute bottom. I was an inch away from grabbing her and never cried so much in my life. She was perfectly fine but took me 6 w months to get over #fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’ve had stair falls too – whole flight of steep wooden stairs , he was 4 . It was absolutely horrendous – still shudder to think about it .

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Great post! Refreshingly honest.
    I hated breastfeeding, was so painful. Lasted less than 3 weeks and really wanted it to work for the convenience of it!
    I made up a bottle on more than one occasion where out of exhaustion I mustn’t have shaken it properly and there was powder stuck to the sides and the bottom of the bottle when he was finished.
    I have lost count of scoops and added an extra half scoop as decided it would then only be half a scoop too much or too little!
    My baby fell off the bed last week and I literally caught him by the foot when his head was about 1cm away from the floor.
    I jumped on the bed when playing with him one day to kiss him and ended up head-butting him by accident, we both had bruises from that one 🙈
    #ForTheLoveOfBLOG

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  14. aliduke79hotmailcom · · Reply

    I think we have all done at least a few of these when we were new mum’s. We are all human x
    #fortheloveofBLOG

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  15. Great post. I’m sure if everyone was honest they’ve done at least a few of these things. I also used jars with my first and pouches for my other two. I think the people at Ella’s kitchen make better and more nutritious food than I do anyway, so they were probably better off! I locked myself in the bathroom with my first while pregnant with my second. I had no pjs for him and only the wet nappy I took off him, so I had to put him back in it and wrap him in a towel until my husband got home. I had left my phone downstairs too. The best of it was the bathroom door quite often locked like that but I had completely forgotten! #fortheloveogBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I have had a few falling off the bed situations and also very quickly gave up on homemade food as it ALL went on the floor. Jars all the way! I lived in a dressing gown for weeks. Some heavy tiles fell on to one of my girls feet (thank God no damage amazingly!) Relied far too much on dummies and CBeebies. The list goes on! Great post and thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Aw shout out to all the new mammas out there bleary eyed and confused (I’m still at that stage 7 months in!) #KCACOLS

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  18. I loved reading this, it is so relatable. being a new mum can be hard and emotional. my mum confessions are letting my baby watch tv even though I was against it and I read that they shouldn’t have any screen time under the age of 2.
    My son also fell off the bed 3 times so far (he’s almost one) I cried twice and rushed him to the emergency once because I was so scared 😦
    I still use a dummy with him even though I kept telling myself I will wean him off before he turns one which I don’t see happening anytime soon #KCACOLS

    Like

  19. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops · · Reply

    Nothing really prepares you does it! It’s crazy. My daughter breastfed to sleep until she was nearly 2 i could get her to sleep no other way. Sleep deprivation really is a kind of torture, it’s a wonder any of us stay sane! #KCACOLS

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  20. mummymiller · · Reply

    My first day when daddy went back to work I accidentLly hit my newborns head on the corner of the shelf above his changing table.
    He crawled off the edge of the bed and screamed a lot!
    I feed him to sleep every night.
    I get in his cot every night to help him go to sleep, it’s a nightmare when we are travelling.
    He fell out his prM once when we were out shopping, I caught him by the leg with him being millimetres from the floor, he thought it was hilarious!
    The list goes on! Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS

    Like

  21. alisonlonghurst · · Reply

    Brilliant to share! I put my 12 week old into her baby bouncer and forgot to fasten the clip on one side. With her first gleeful bounce she fell straight onto our stone kitchen floor. I was absolutely mortified and rang NHS Direct in floods of tears. The nurse I spoke to couldn’t have been less worried: did she scream straight away? she asked. Yes, I replied. Then no worries! Alison x #fortheloveofBLOG

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  22. Great post. I think its really important to be honest about parenting, because there is so much pressure, posts like these can really help others, and not just new mums, experienced ones too. I’m trying to think if I’ve used a nappy as a sanitary towel before, Ive got this feeling I have, i just can’t remember when. I gave my baby a chip from the chip shop because she liked it (no salt added, promise) not ideal, but baby no. 4 and you do anything for peace;) Xx

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  23. whoops, #kcacols

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  24. This is great advice for new mums ay such a scary and unknown time X #kcacols

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  25. My son’s first real solid food was french fries
    I dropped my son once as a toddler (I didn’t drop my daughter but her Dad did open the front door and bean her on the head)
    My toddler burnt his hand on the oven because I was checking a roast and he snuck up behind me and grabbed the rack
    If I hate a kids show I just never let my kids watch it so I dont have to deal with it.
    #confessionsofamother
    #KCACOLS

    Like

  26. This is truly wonderful. I lol’ed for realz re: you texting your family about the end to your constipation. Some confessions from me…let’s see. I watched all the seasons of ‘Fringe’ on Netflix while on mat leave. There were many other series too. I basically just left Netflix on all day because it carries on loading new episodes, with occasional guilt trips asking ‘Are you STILL watching Netflix?’. I also fed both my babies to sleep. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve bumped my youngest’s head on something – the car door…placing him too hard down on the changing mat (he’s fine, he’s just fine). I ate a 360g large-size bar of Dairy Milk EVERY DAY on mat leave. I could go on. #kcacols

    Like

  27. The Pramshed · · Reply

    There is nothing to feeling guilty about bring a new mum, and this is possibly the most honest list I have ever read. Completely agree on the poo point even with a c section its really hard. Also don’t worry too much about boobing baby to sleep they won’t do that forever, there will come a time when they stop. I once watched 6 episodes of Luther one night just to keep me sane when our little one was awake. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG with this very honest list. Claire x

    Like

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