How to ‘enjoy’ a family ‘holiday.’

Having just returned from our family ‘holiday’ I am obligated to write an how to endure survive a family holiday post. Quotation marks may feature heavily. Here are my top tips!

  1. Abandon hope and expectation all ye who enter here. There really should be another name for a family ‘holiday’, because, delights though there may be some, they really bear absolutely no resemblance to any holiday you have previously enjoyed. Lower your expectations. Lower them some more. Actually anticipate that you will have a terrible time and any moments of unexpected joy will be all the sweeter nectar.
  2. Take a buggy. Even if all of your children have shunned buggies for the last year, at least one child will always be ‘tired’, and you will end up with a two stone toddler clinging to your front, and a rucksack of the requisite army level supplies required to leave the apartment for 30 minutes, strapped to your back. It also offers the possibility, however slim, that the child might nap whilst out for a stroll, allowing the opportunity for that most beautiful of things, an afternoon drink.IMG_4851
  3. A mid-afternoon drink is an absolute delight, and one part of my pre-children holiday routine that I will not forego. Get the kids a Ribena and a packet of crisps and you might get twenty minutes out of it if you’re lucky.
  4. Employ screen time liberally. Relax your standards. A bit of Peppa Pig can eke out a little while longer in bed. (The last thing you want is to be starting your days at 0630am on ‘holiday’. Delights that my kids are, even if they go to bed late, they still wake up horribly early. Aren’t they kind?) A little bit of Minecraft at the dinner table might mean you can linger over your meal a while, rather than leg it out the door the minute you’ve gulped down the last morsel of your (one course) meal.
  5. Take this opportunity to introduce your children to new and exciting cuisines. This year, my daughter (2 years old) tried both a crisp sandwich and calamari for the first time. She enjoyed both. One of my proudest parenting moments
  6. Tag-team time off. Unless you are lucky enough to holiday with built in babysitters, then getting any ‘me-time’ on ‘holiday’ is nigh on possible. Take it in turns with your other half to go for walks, or for a drink; this will leave you ‘refreshed’ to endure your next shift with vigour.

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7. If your child is recently potty trained, take a potty. Otherwise, you just might find yourself scooping poo out of pants for the third time in an hour due to a powerful combination of the fear of an unknown toilet and suspected consumption of sea water.

8. Don’t believe the hype. Remember, as always, that everyone is posting their ‘best bits’ to Instagram and Facebook. Rest assured for every Clarendon filtered image of siblings cavorting in the sea against an azure sky, somebody, somewhere, is scooping shit out of pants.

9. Try, try and remember , these are the good old days.

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18 comments

  1. Love this! We are off on our first family holiday abroad soon and I’m going to take all of these tips with me! Especially number 8, although let’s face it, I’m not adverse to a Clarendon filter myself… #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love my life (and my face) through a Clarendon filter – enjoy your holiday !

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh this did make me smile! It gets better in time. Honest. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t believe you !

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  3. The Pramshed · · Reply

    I hope you had a lovely holiday, and I loved reading this, getting lots of tips and tricks for future trips away with our little girl. I completely agree with you to employ screen time and snacks, they work wonders at the moment when I am needing to desperately get something done (don’t get my wrong, it is all in moderation). I hope that you weren’t caught short without a potty? (eek!). I like how you got to have a mid-afternoon drink, that’s important for some sanity and also a chance to breathe. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Claire – the afternoon drink wands sanity saver !

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  4. Such a hilarious post! Yet somewhat sad because it’s true! We’ve been lucky to holiday with the in laws I.e. the babysitters! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s such a good way to go ( provided you get on with the in laws of course !)

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  5. Oh YES!! I can so relate to this having just come back from a week in Devon. I wrote a similar post about 5 ways kids can ruin your holiday and cover similar points to you. I have definitely learnt my lesson in not taking a buggy with us because supposedly the 3 year old will walk. I ended up carrying her around along with beach bags and cool bags and all the other crap for most of the week! #KCACOLS x

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  6. All fantastic tips. With normal schedules being so disrupted, I’ve always found that a few day drinks and a fully charged tablet are the keys to survival #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  7. carolcliffe · · Reply

    I am in the throes of ‘enjoying’ a family ‘holiday’ for the whole 6 weeks’ school holidays. Oh how ‘lucky’ are we to get 6 weeks away together. You have my sympathies!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We used go camping to France as kids for 6 weeks as my parents are both teachers – now I know why they stocked up on booze on the way home !! ‘Enjoy’ your ‘holiday’ !

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love this! So funny! Our first family holiday this year was lovely, but at times stressful and exhausting! #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lovely , stressful and exhausting : sounds about right ! Getting the balance between them is the key , thanks for reading

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  9. A lovely post to read through. Hope you had a fabulous time. Great tips for future holidays when my 6 month old is older xx

    hanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

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  10. All so true. Luckily a few years down the line when we look back, we only remember the good bits (and the really extremely terrible bits!)

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  11. […] She writes with such skill about feminism and real-life parenting. I was once a woman who shied away from calling myself a feminist, but since I’ve become a mum, I’ve begun to feel passionate about it. I have a blog post in draft about why I’m a feminist but I’m still trying to articulate it. Beth does an amazing job addressing a range of feminist issues in a way that should engage even people who say they aren’t feminists. My recent faves are Rape culture, parenting and lessons for my children and Body Image: Built for use, not decoration. She also has great, funny posts about the hard work of parenting in general, such as How to ‘enjoy’ a family ‘holiday’. […]

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  12. Love the tag team idea!

    Like

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