The first good weekend ?

This weekend we made a spur of the moment decision to go away for the weekend. I don’t really do spur of the moment decisions, so it was a bit of a gamble for me. It was, co-incidentally, also our first weekend together as a family since the boy got his ASD/ADHD diagnosis a couple of weeks ago.

Kilkee_Clothes

Typically weekends in our house are stressful affairs, due to the boy’s meltdowns and low mood. Returning to the office on Monday morning can be a relief.

We have been to Kilkee, in Co Clare every August for the last few years and the boy loves it. Mainly the ice-creams and arcades , but also the beach. Kilkee is a small coastal town on the West Coast of Ireland. A traditional seaside village , that comes alive for the summer months and sleeps in the winter. It has some beautiful scenery; the wild, rugged kind that almost looks better in shades of grey than blue. Which is lucky, since it mostly rains there. The beach in the bay is expansive, and clean, perfect for children to run wild, and for the brave to take the plunge. We took the opportunity for an adhoc weekend getaway.

Cliff Walk Kilkee

For the first time in a long time I can honestly say we had a great weekend. With nothing on the agenda except enjoyment, everyone can truly relax. Souvenirs bought for the kids, and ice-creams. Afternoon drinks for the grown-ups, and a trip to the arcades to fritter money away as if we had it.

Book sign

But it’s at the beach where the faces really light up. Firstly, taking off socks and shoes and running tentatively to where the sea meets the sand. Then, braver now, removing t-shirts and dresses to splash in the small pool gathered between troughs of sand. Finally, sheer exuberance, tearing through the water, shouting, splashing, falling, laughing. I could have watched them all day.

bigsplash

This is my favouritest day , he said.

On Sunday, miracle of miracles nobody woke until 8.30am (apart from me, of course) and we went out for breakfast and a root around the rock pools for crabs, a favourite pastime of the boy. (That reminds me I have a crab shell in my bag.) To add to our good fortune there was a market taking place on the seafront celebrating all the delicious food on offer in the area. Free seafood for me, face painting and balloon animals for the kids. Receiving the diagnosis and understanding the boy better, helped us to avoid various trigger points over the weekend. Situations which would have previously led to meltdowns, from him and us, were side-stepped, thanks to an increased awareness of how his brain processes certain thoughts or emotions.  And thus an incident with the boy’s balloon animal did not become the day-affecting crisis it might once have done, and we could close out the weekend, in the sun, on the wall, together, happy.

onthewall

Of course , nothing good lasts forever and the return home on Sunday evening brought with it the stresses and strains of real-life , which make it so much harder to be the parent I want to be. The demands of grocery shopping, laundry, lunch preparing and bathing led to a hyperactive boy and a stressed out mother and we ended the weekend on a low note. The most difficult part of his behaviour for me to accept is the impulsivity and lack of empathy, which results in him tormenting his sister. This cannot be tolerated regardless of the reasons for it, but it’s up to us to guide him on this and show him the right path. Unfortunately, tired and stressed, I shouted. He got upset. Meltdown.

This is not going to be easy. One successful weekend away does not a perfect family make. Life will get in the way: work, finances, a tantrumming two-year old, a messy house, lack of sleep. These things all pile on top of us making the utopia of perfect, serene parenting impossible. But we are trying. We are aware, and we are trying and this was the first good weekend.

Advertisements

12 comments

  1. I’m so pleased you had a good impromptu weekend away – sometimes the things we don’t plan always end up being the best 😉 The end of any break away always results in us mums feeling the strain, theres so much to do when we get back, its really stressful, and sometimes we snap.. it happens, but, It sounded like your timing for your weekend was perfect! What a lovely treat 🙂 #kcacols

    Like

  2. Over Heaven's Hill · · Reply

    I’m so glad you had a lovely weekend. It’s a pity it ended on such a low note 😦 life can be hard throwing ordinary but tough stresses your way. #kcacols 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, I am so envious that you can just take a short weekend trip to such a beautiful place!

    Like

    1. It is beautiful, you forget sometimes when you live somewhere how beautiful it actually is .

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Aww this sounds lovely! I love a day out but I get how stressful it can be for you, spontaneity and ADHD doesn’t really mix. So glad it was successful xx #KCACOLS

    Like

    1. No not always a good idea to spring things on him but the gamble paid off this time ! Thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s good to see that you’re already learning to figure out the boys triggers. My nephew has ADHD and dyspraxia and it took us all a little while to figure it all out. #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s so much to learn and understand !

      Like

  6. I’m so glad you guys were able to get away for a little bit and have some fun. They both look so incredibly happy playing on the beach. What a great idea! You are doing a great job and it sounds like you have learned so much already. Look forward to hearing more from you 🙂 #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  7. internationalelfservice · · Reply

    Your weekend looks and sounds amazing! We too have meltdowns and stress related behavioural ‘stuff’, which is exhausting!

    Like

    1. It is exhausting so sympathies to you – I have never been so emotionally spent !

      Like

  8. […] and relaxed time. A real rarity; so rare, I even blogged about it in the optimistically titled The First Good Weekend. Of course, it was never going to be that […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: