When will I be a proper grown-up ?

This weekend, my mother came to stay. My husband was away for the weekend, and I had invited her over (we are in different countries) unable to contemplate the thought of entertaining my children alone for the duration of a Bank Holiday weekend.

I have a button that needs replacing on a shirt, I remembered earlier in the week, I’ll ask Mam to do that.

We moved house over Christmas. The fridge isn’t working 100%, I’m not sure what setting it should be on. I’ll ask Mam, when she’s over.

I can’t find the thermostat on the boiler in the airing cupboard. I’ll ask Mam, when she’s over.

I even contemplated leaving her a pile of ironing to do, but sharply had a word with myself. How pathetic, though and more than a little embarrassing too. The button I could really have done myself, as I do actually have a sewing kit (of course bought for me by my mother! I’m not enough of a grown up to go out and purchase a sewing kit). But I’ve often had this thought as I’ve googled various household queries, when will I know the things my parents know? When will I become a proper grown up?

Some things I think I should have down by now, but totally don’t.

  • How to defrost a freezer.
  • How to roast a chicken.
  • The basic rudimentaries of a household plumbing system
  • How to act authoritatively with a doctor’s receptionist.
  • How to plant seeds so that something actually grows.
  • What’s the correct measure of Gin for a Gin and Tonic?

I feel like it’s a kind of imposter syndrome. I’m 36, I have two kids, a husband , a full time job; but really I’m still only 21 years old. When I was growing up, I remember thinking that my mam was really old compared to other mothers, as she was 32 when she had me. I was 31 when I had my first, and 34 my second and I totally see myself as a young mother. I am deluded , I know. When I look at the other mothers on the school run, they seem so much more together than me, and, I’m going to say it, older. And I don’t mean that as a criticism of them, it’s not that they look haggard and grey or anything. It’s just in my mind I really do think I am only 21. The lines I am noticing on my face though tell a different story. As does, the ever so slightly sagging skin of my neck and the creeping grey hairs.

When will my brain catch up with my face? Or all we all forever 21?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, particularly if you know how to roast a chicken.

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26 comments

  1. I can totally relate to everything you mentioned, whenever i want to do something either related to my baby or house chores, i instantly say i’ll ask mom when i call or visit her

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mackenzieglanville · · Reply

    haha I love this, maybe because I can totally relate, I can’t sew, or cook a chicken, or do so many things that I think an adult should do. But then I have my talents, we all do, in may not all be practical, but I know I am a good person and a good mum, well mostly, and I manage to keep my kids healthy and happy even if I do dance around the house like a nut whilst doing it. Fab post! Stay 21! #Kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I call my Mom for so many things that it has become a running joke. Some things I could google, but I want that moment of getting her advice, its just nice I suppose. But, my best friend is 9 years younger than me and she calls me all the time for questions on silly things, so apparently I am the authority to someone. I’m not sure when we are grown up but I think it is in our 50s. #KCACOLS

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  4. haha, if something goes wrong or breaks then my mum is still the first person I ring. This week my hairdryer blew up and the first thing I did was to ring my mum. I am also in my thirties and waiting for the day that I finally grow-up. Not sure it is going to happen now! Thanks for joining up with us at #KCACOLS 🙂 xx

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  5. Tracey @ One Frazzled Mum · · Reply

    Oh, I can roast a chicken! I am so nearly a grown up! I know what you mean about imposter syndrome I am 35 next (yikes) and still feel like a teenager sometimes, in my head not my body that tells me I’m in the physical shape of 90 year old :/ #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  6. beccaweatherall · · Reply

    Oh my goodness – I could have written this! What a fantastic post! I honestly feel exactly the same and was starting to worry that I was the only thirty-something on the planet who felt like this?! I have no idea how to sew on a button (my husband has to sew any in our house). I always have to wait for my Mum or Mother-in-law to come to help me with the most basic of domestic/practical tasks!! It’s ridiculous. I am just starting to think I will never be as practical as our Mums were….but I want to be able to impart knowledge to my little boy so I need to start learning!
    Anyway, with regards to chickens, I think they do roast-in-a-bag ones now! 🙂
    Great post. Thank you for sharing! #KCACOLS

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  7. Haha! In fairness, I like to do things myself, so I do my own sewing, cooking, cleaning, etc, but my sister always gets my mum to do those things for her when she visits! However, I do nonetheless have the thing of not feeling like a proper grown up, & there are loads of things I don’t know how to do that I should know how to! When you start wondering about this, you also then have to wonder whether all the people you thought were proper grown ups (like your parents) also actually did not feel they were proper grown ups! #KCACOLS

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    1. Haha , yes absolutely , perhaps we all walking around in some state of arrested development . Or like Tom hanks in Big

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  8. I definitely feel this way some times. My mom scolds me on occasion for how messy my house is. I feel like it’s a good week if we have clean clothes and the kitchen isn’t a disaster. I would be happy to share a roasted chicken recipe. It’s really pretty easy. #KCACOLS

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  9. This is brilliant, I thought I’d be a grown up when I got married. Nope. When we got a house. Nope. When we had a baby. Nope. When we had another baby. Nope. When the eldest one went to school. Still nope! I do look at other mums at school and think they are ‘proper’ grown ups, where I’m just kind of pretending! Ha ha glad it’s not just me. Thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS

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  10. I have no idea how to roast a chicken. I’ve been a vegetarian for 25 years.
    I think the trouble with most of these things is not so much that they’re adult, but more that they’re just too boring to give headspace to (apart from the gin). So maybe it’s not that you’re avoiding being grown up, you just have more important things on your mind than ironing. #KCACOLS

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    1. Haha yes – I really can’t worry about ironing when I have mouths to feed , school plays, work etc , thanks for the support!!

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  11. Over Heaven's Hill · · Reply

    I don’t think we’ll catch up Beth! I’m forever saying “leave it, I’ll ask Dad when I see him” or “maybe mam will go there with me or help me with that”. Honestly, you always need your mum and dad! I’ll always be 19 as far as I’m concerned… even though I have started to pluck snow white hairs from the top of my head #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am Forever 21 and I shop there! The fact that I am in excess of double that delights me. The only thing that makes me realise my true age is 1) The mirror and 2) my daughter. I am the second oldest mum in the class, how shameful. The fact that I am also friends with the youngest mums helps my street credit a little with The Kid. There are always jobs that are reserved for mum and dad and I do believe they see them as their ‘thing’. Sewing is of course one of them along with polishing shoes. Unfortunately, neither of my parents are around now so I have to make do with stabbing my finger on occasion and for the sake of Brownie badges – invest in glue! #KCACOLS

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    1. What about that magic stuff you can iron on to turn up trousers instead of sewing ? Made for the likes of Us !

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wonder web you mean? I have used that in the past but this glue is a must for badges if you ever need. Works in seconds. All those years of sewing I’ll never get back!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes wonder web ! I may need to put a school crest onto a jumper so will keep an eye for the glue , thanks !

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  13. I can roast a chicken! Only because I work on a deli though! Don’t know how to change a fuse in plug, or how to put the heating on the timer though!

    #KCACOLS XX

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  14. This completely is how I feel about my Mom! I wonder will my daughter have the same relationship and feelings about me when I am older and hopefully wiser! #KCACOLS

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  15. This made me smile. My mum is currently on holiday and I’m counting the days till she’s back. I don’t know how i survive without her despite having a husband and a son. #KCACOLS

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  16. I hate roast dinners but on the rare occassion I have been known to roast a chicken I poke it full of holes and push garlic and lemon wherever I can and it seems to taste nice. No idea how long it’s supposed to cook though so it’s a lot of oven door opening for me! I think I’ve taught my mum just as many things as she has taught me though 🙂 #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Haha! I think we all definitely feel like this a lot of the time – even when we kinda know how to do something. It’s one of the great secrets of adulthood that nobody tells you. When you’re a kid, it always seems like adults can solve any problem and know exactly what to do at any time. Then, you become one and you realise we’re all just as clueless as each other and some just hide it better than others! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  18. aliduke79hotmailcom · · Reply

    I can roast a chicken lol. I am 37, but I still feel younger than that. In fact I don’t think I have ever properly grown up.
    #KCACOLS

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  19. I mastered the roast chicken, and have got into gardening in the last few years, however I constantly phone my mum with various garden and kitchen related questions! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I completely relate to this! Wow I could have written this myself lol. I’m 39! How ashamed is that? lol I used to ask my mum for everything too but because we are far a way with different time zones that role has been replaced by my husband who knows everything lol. He will do the roasted chicken at home which is amazing. I know I’m capable to do lots of things if I really want to but sometimes it is just easier to ask someone else. So bad right? But I must say that with the years I have grown up a lot and I learnt to do a lot of things on my own otherwise things will never happen to me. It is just a need. And of course I would like to think that I have other skills too. Great post! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. Also thank you for taking the time to comment a lot, 🙂 x

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    1. Thank you – I guess if I really wanted to know how to do those things I would learn ! Thanks for hosting the linky !

      Liked by 1 person

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